Dylan is out with friends and I find myself in a quiet house. How nice. How odd.
Mombo, Bob, Drew and the whole clan back in Rochester are at the Spencerport Relay for Life right now. I'm there in spirit. This year I sponsored a Luminarias for some of those close to me who have battled cancer - Mom, Dad, Marilyn, Mema, Dorothy, Pops, Ann.
So tonight I am remembering...
- How scary it was when Dorothy and Mombo were diagnosed with breast cancer. They fought back and they are survivors all these years later.
- How awful and unfair it was when my friend Ann got lymphoma. Wonderful Ann...the mother of three young kids, so full of energy and able to outdo any of us a the gym...how could this happen? And why did it happen when she was in the midst of an awful divorce? Well, Ann fought back and she and her kids are doing well.
- Those incredible days with my Dad when he was dying of lung cancer.
- And the days in the garden with Marilyn, when she was dying of the same thing.
- Too many words to say how it was with my Mom.
- How much I miss Pops.
So I have a record of the incredible speech he gave. The one where I had to rush up to the pulpit and read the part about how Pops taught us to love family, and what that means...because Bob couldn't say it through his tears.
Here it is. Get the Kleenex out. And then go out and do something wonderful or scary or new. Do something important to you.
Life is short. Make it count.
Notes for eulogy of Bob Welch, by Bob Welch Jr.
Anybody taking bets on whether I'll make it through this?
It's been nice to see so many people come see my father. From the hospital until now. When he was in the hospice it felt like he was having his own version of the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" It was very moving to hear the big and small ways Dad impacted people's lives.
He loved to stay active. He always talked about the singing groups he was in, the plays he went to, the bus trips, the sports games, the series of breakfast & lunch groups he belonged too, the visits with his brothers and nieces & nephews, the Bills, NASCAR, his lousy golf score, his grandchildren and his Florida trips. He always had something going on. He loved living.
He was always involved with his immediate family too. He was a great Dad.
He was always upbeat.
I can remember as a boy Dad used to take the bus to work and we knew when he was close to home because we could hear him whistling as he walked up the street. Mom would say “I hear your father”
I remember him letting go of my bike seat that first time I tried to ride without training wheels ...and I remember him jogging over to pick me up after I had crashed into the light pole on the Cuthbert’s front lawn.
He once slept outdoors with me under a tent of blankets I'd hung over the clothesline.
He loved golf, especially with my sisters because they brought snacks!
And the girls always called Dad before golf to check the weather because he was the family weatherman.
He was a self described “Old Softie”
Every time one of us had to go to the hospital Dad took us for ice cream afterward.
Sharon went to the hospital 7 times, so she was the ice cream champion.
He went on campouts with us boys
He famously earned sleeping merit badge for his napping prowess at Boy Scout Camp.
He traveled around the country with us in the Drum Corp.
He could be heard in the audience of school basketball yelling “Nice job B”
After visiting with Dad at his house he always walked you out to your car. That’s the kind of guy he was.
This was a man who was not an overt leader but someone who lead by example. The way he lived his life was honorable and made all of us want to live in the same manner.
He showed us
How to treat people.
– how to never give up on a person, especially when they’re at their worst,
but instead to shower them with love and support.
He showed us how to bring levity to any situation.
One day we had a “Wait until your Father gets home moment” when we were all
little.
We had drove mom nuts all day. Must have been my sisters not Dan & I.
When Dad got home she wanted him to let us have it.
So he stood up and took off his belt.
We were all scared, but at that same moment he let his pants drop to the floor and there he stood in his underwear, belt in hand.
That was it, everyone in the room, including mom, was in stitches. Stress & tension gone we could get on with dinner and discussing the issues of the day.
Dad showed us
How to be a humble.
How to love.
How to love your own family and what that means.
He showed us what sacrifice for family and kids was all about.
He showed us how to raise kids.
How to have our spouses be our best friends.
He showed us
How to enjoy life.
And how to have a great sense of humor.
He showed us how to love music.
He always called out the bass line or a key change in a song, “did you hear that” he’d say” …and he’d get his wry little crooked smile on his face.
He taught me how to make the perfect fried egg.
And Schreiner – for the record, he taught me how to cut the lawn.
In the end, as was his way, he was more worried about us than himself. He wanted us to be comfortable, he wanted us not to be stressed, he wanted us not to have to fuss over him. He wanted to comfort us in his own demise. Always thinking of others before himself. He kept his sense of humor right to the end.
I like to think of Dad now at the Wegmans up in heaven. I can see him walking the aisles and going up to someone he recognizes...."Hey so & so, I didn't know you died" ...and off he'd go talking about what happened to him, how nice the hospice was, talking about all the details, what kind of food they had and who had brought food for him.
I know we’ll go on in our lives emulating Dad, and that’s a good thing. But in closing I only want to offer one piece of advice for my siblings. Don’t start putting ice cubes in your milk! Thank you all for coming.
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